WHAT'S NEW?

Well, I’ll tell you what’s new. My glasses! I received them yesterday and I think they are very cool. My fabulously hip friend, Hannah, told me about this eyewear company, Warby Parker. Their selection of glasses is like a gold mine for nerds and artists alike. I’ve come to accept the fact that I am a little nerdy, so these big vintage-inspired frames were perfect for me. AND it’s buy one, give one. So someone somewhere is benefiting from my habitual consumerism! Cool glasses. Cool company.

 

Now… the tale about how I came to know bifocals. When I was a little one, I had a friend named Katie (I’m not referring to myself or an imaginary friend). Everyone thought we were twins. We looked nothing alike, and we had the same name. Unless people assumed our parents were kin to the devil, I honestly don’t understand the logic. But regardless, people had this idea. So we started playing into it. We went everywhere together. We dressed the same. We copied each other’s motions. We ordered the same things. We even had the same bike.  

The trouble was, Katie had glasses. It never dawned on me that our little twin scam wasn’t perfect until I realized I couldn’t see the chalkboard anymore. I told my parents over and over that the trees were blurry but to no avail. They just assumed that I just wanted to be more like Katie. I begged and pleaded for a year or more. In the 4^th grade, they finally gave me a shot at glasses. I couldn’t read the third line of the exam.

I told you so.